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Domestic Violence, Family Court, Child Custody and the bias it creates. Fathers'/Mens' Rights.

Updated: May 4, 2022


In light of recent events involving the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case. The conversation needs to be had about the disparities in domestic violence cases and family court cases. The false accusations that go unchecked and unpunished. And the disparities that men face in family courts during custody battles.


It is no secret that the suicide rate amongst single fathers and divorced men is substantially high and alarming. While writing this, I could reference my own anecdotal evidence in certain cases. However, I co-parent well and will not tread in those waters so openly. Not only to protect myself but my child and her mother. Time and place for everything. But I could say quite a bit.


According to national statistics, single fathers commit suicide at a rate 2x the number of single mothers. But why? Before going over the reality surrounding family courts. The discussion first needs to be had about domestic violence against men. As it correlates inside of family courts more often than not.


Roughly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience some form of domestic violence. Nearly 15% of all violent crime in the United States involves domestic violence. And less than 34% of domestic violence victims receive medical treatment.


One of the biggest arguments behind domestic violence. Is the argument that women are more likely to face domestic violence at the hands of a man. According to the link below and video above. That could not be further from the truth.


https://domesticviolence.org/statistics/


Keep in mind that these numbers do not reflect reality. Due to the fact that many cases go unreported due to the stigma behind male domestic violence victims. The numbers in certain States reflect a much different tale. While in many States the gap between Male vs Female victims is not so far apart. Keep in mind these numbers are based on what percentage of the population faces domestic violence.



Arkansas 37.3% are women 36.6% are men

Kentucky 37.5% are women 31% are men

Louisiana 33.4% are women 28.4% are men


But in states like the following, men are often the victim more than women.


Connecticut 32.9% are women 33.9% are men

Delaware 34.9% are women 36.7% are men

Georgia 35.1% are women 39.9% are men

Missouri 36.1% are women 40.4% are men



Nearly 40% of all domestic violence cases are against men according to certain studies. Which means that 40 out of 100 people who face domestic violence are males. Which equates to about 300,000-400,000 male domestic violence victims a year. Again, these numbers do not reflect the cases that go unreported. Most men do not speak about domestic violence because of the stigma that society has placed on it.


We live in a society that frowns on men talking about domestic violence because it deters from masculinity. Men that become victims of domestic violence are often seen as weak. A male can pick up the phone and report domestic violence and the accusations hardly hit the radar or get taken seriously. But a woman can claim domestic violence with no proof, and she has every available asset at her disposal. Which leads to the false accusations that take place in family courts.


90% of all custody cases end in the woman being given custody of the children. The remaining 10% doesn't even always go to the father. It accounts for children that end up in the system or Grandparents that are awarded custody. Roughly 1/3 of domestic violence cases involve homes that have children under the age of 12. Nearly 50% of custody cases involve restraining orders and protection orders. While 74% of those cases involve accusations of domestic violence.



Never mind the fact that men are also victims of domestic violence. No one ever addresses the elephant in the room. The weaponization of domestic violence accusations in family courts during custody battles. This is one of those subjects where everyone knows the reality but refuses to speak about it. Society fails our men and our fathers. How many men have fallen victim to domestic violence themselves and still lose custody battles? How many men have lost custody of their children due to false accusations? How many men are being financially burdened by a bias system because of child support enforcement and extortion.


The numbers vary depending on what sources you use. But the common number is between 500,000 and 600,00 men incarcerated for back child support. Many States have laws that revoke driver's licenses for back child support. It has to be stated. Many men are forced to pay child support, alimony and maintain health coverage of children. And most men do not receive 50/50 custody. These men also have to maintain a home with proper living conditions for when they have visitation. Otherwise, their visitation could be revoked. This also doesn't account for the men that do not even have access to their children. I am fortunate enough to have a very good relationship with my child. But that is rarely the case.


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On a national level. Most child support payments range between $200-$3500 a month for one child. 90% of all family court cases end in the mother also receiving some form of child support. 98% of divorce cases involve women that also receive alimony.


https://www.acf.hhs.gov/css/newsletter/ocsenewsletter/august-2021-child-support-report